As I write this I am currently 35,000 feet above rural Virginia, and I have had plenty of time to reflect on this amazing vacation. What I have come up with is that Italy and the US are completely different countries. News flash, I know, but I mean it in terms of our culture, our social expectations, our mores. I feel like such an idiot saying that but it’s true. Because the US has vast amounts of different landscape, culture, urban/rural living all with the added benefit of having one language, one common set of laws and one monetary system binding us together, the desire to leave the country and explore is not as great as it may be in Europe. Problem is, however, that when these said Americans decide to travel, everything is compared to the “way it is at home” and the expectations are that everyone speaks “their” language and likes to eat “their” food. Not so oversees and the locals, while happy to take our Euros, hate the general attitude. Problem also comes with the local kids listening to American music (they love it), eating American food (McDonalds is everywhere in Rome) and generally doing all the things to piss off their parents who are tired of the tourists. Odd. Really it is. So much confusion among the masses. Oh well, enough of that. Time for my final observations from Italy….
1) Clothes and clothes styles are very unique. I have seen the future, folks and for woman it involves tights under short shorts with old school Chuck Taylor high tops. Boots are big too-even the "Captain Morgan over the knee" pirate boots. Just wait….As for men, nobody cares what you wear. Truly. A toga would be just fine, as long as you also wore very skinny tight jeans, hideous flat white puma shoes, a large purple puffy jacket with fur around the hood and white Elvis sunglasses. Not the wayfarer 60’s shades but the fat Elvis- dying while on the shitter shades-rhinestones included.
2) Apparently it is more important for woman (of all ages) to be fashionable than to have an ounce of self esteem. Ladies in their sixties with bulges in places I care not to describe should not wear tights, short skirts and generally look like a mistress of the night. I don’t care if it is the latest trend. Act and dress your age. I am begging you…
3) The bidet has still bamboozled me but I could definitely see its utility. Just can’t bring myself to sit and give my undercarriage a good scrubbin’…
4) I love the ruins of Rome and I love the Vatican. It is difficult, however to see all of the gold, silver, pomp and circumstance at St. Peter’s only to be faced by beggers hoping to get a euro or two from spiritual pilgrims (and generally failing) on their way to the Holy City. The contrast is striking. Just a humble observation…
5) My mother in law is convinced that she and I have the exact same nose. A "nose twin" to be exact. At first, I thought this to be crazy, but the more I look, I don’t know…Probably too much time with the mother in law…
6) There is nothing better than landing in the States and knowing that warm smiles, hugs and kisses from the children await. The warm bed and comfy clothes don’t hurt either.
I have had a great time blogging my adventures and observations from Italy and hope it has provided as much levity to you as it has to me. Now, back to the grindstone....
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
My Roman Holiday Day #7
We have traveled to Amalfi, on the southern coast of Italy. It is a gorgeous tourist town with the city built into the rocks and grottos on the sea. It is sunny today, surprising since our trip has been marred with crappy weather. It took longer than expected to get out of Rome secondary to a city wide strike aimed apparently at the present Berlusconi government. The Prime Minister is just too powerful and too corrupt to really give a rat’s ass so we sat in traffic for an hour and a half. No big deal because I had nothing else to do. I am just enjoying the trip, not worrying about the destination (in a literal and figurative sense). So we arrive late and have dinner. Wow. The food is delicious and the locals seem to have a thing for lemons. There are lemons, pictures of lemons, drinks made of lemons (limoncello is extraordinary and worth the taste if you see it in the States. From what I can tell they make it with fresh lemons and pure grain alcohol. No way to screw that up.) The size of the lemons are also gigantic. They grow ‘em big here, boys....
We went to Pompeii at the foot of the enormous volcano, Mount Vesuvius. To say that I was blown away is truly an understatement. Our tour guide, Gaetano Manfredi, was phenomenal and really knew his stuff. The ancient Romans really were stupendous engineers-especially when it came to plumbing and running water. Why some countries still don't have these basics is beyond me. If people figured it out 2500 years ago, no need to go and invent the wheel again. Just pick up a history book and follow the path of the Romans....
A few more of my observations on Italian life thus far....
1) Lunch in most places is ala carte. You order, they give it to you and you stand at the counter and eat it. It is called “take away” and they charge you less for take away than if you plant your butt down and have the same thing sitting. Interesting... I also apparently stick out like a sore thumb here because I caught a worker behind the counter making a face at me. Luckily I caught them and gave them a hard stare knowing that they knew that I knew that they were busted. They tried to cover up with a broad grin. I was not amused.
2) The advertising for political posts is out of control. Posters go up along a wall and they assume you didn’t see the first one because they plaster 12-15 more, exactly like it, along the wall next to it.
3) The drivers here deserve some sort of award for their prowess behind the wheel. There are lanes but no one uses them. They pass people in other cars and miss hitting them by a fraction of an inch. They don’t even do the typical American “I am going to crane my neck and say a prayer that I don’t hit them” look. They just zoom by at the same speed....And the interesting part is I have yet to see a traffic jam because of a fender bender. In fact, I hardly see any dents on peoples' cars. Truly amazing.
4) Dinner here doesn’t get going until at least 830pm or 900pm. My tummy is not happy with me...
5) Speaking of food, I seem to swear off eating every time I finish a meal, saying “I am so full and bloated, I never need to eat again.” Somehow, I end up bellying up to the table and gorging myself again a few hours later. Not good for the old waist line....
6) For a true coffee lover like myself, I find it comforting that I can get coffee, I mean good coffee, anytime, anyplace. Even McDonalds (Not that McLatte shit. The good stuff. Espresso. Short and neat.)
7) I still have yet to try the bidet but am considering it everyday.....
8) I stopped at the Autogrill on the Autostrade (rest area with a mini grocery store/restaurant on the highway) and they were selling beer by the bottle. Now I am not saying I don't like a cold brew every now and then, but to pick one up for the road may be a little much, especially considering my comments from #3...
9) The restaurants in Amalfi had their fish on display in a cooler case at the front of the store. Big freakin' fish with eyes staring right at you. Glad they didn't have the meat specials there too....Creepy....
Well, good night all. I head to the Roman Forum tomorrow as well as the Colosseum. I gotta say that I am pretty stoked about being in the Forum on the Ides of March. I will be extra careful when there and make sure no one tries to knife me through the toga I'm gonna wear...
We went to Pompeii at the foot of the enormous volcano, Mount Vesuvius. To say that I was blown away is truly an understatement. Our tour guide, Gaetano Manfredi, was phenomenal and really knew his stuff. The ancient Romans really were stupendous engineers-especially when it came to plumbing and running water. Why some countries still don't have these basics is beyond me. If people figured it out 2500 years ago, no need to go and invent the wheel again. Just pick up a history book and follow the path of the Romans....
A few more of my observations on Italian life thus far....
1) Lunch in most places is ala carte. You order, they give it to you and you stand at the counter and eat it. It is called “take away” and they charge you less for take away than if you plant your butt down and have the same thing sitting. Interesting... I also apparently stick out like a sore thumb here because I caught a worker behind the counter making a face at me. Luckily I caught them and gave them a hard stare knowing that they knew that I knew that they were busted. They tried to cover up with a broad grin. I was not amused.
2) The advertising for political posts is out of control. Posters go up along a wall and they assume you didn’t see the first one because they plaster 12-15 more, exactly like it, along the wall next to it.
3) The drivers here deserve some sort of award for their prowess behind the wheel. There are lanes but no one uses them. They pass people in other cars and miss hitting them by a fraction of an inch. They don’t even do the typical American “I am going to crane my neck and say a prayer that I don’t hit them” look. They just zoom by at the same speed....And the interesting part is I have yet to see a traffic jam because of a fender bender. In fact, I hardly see any dents on peoples' cars. Truly amazing.
4) Dinner here doesn’t get going until at least 830pm or 900pm. My tummy is not happy with me...
5) Speaking of food, I seem to swear off eating every time I finish a meal, saying “I am so full and bloated, I never need to eat again.” Somehow, I end up bellying up to the table and gorging myself again a few hours later. Not good for the old waist line....
6) For a true coffee lover like myself, I find it comforting that I can get coffee, I mean good coffee, anytime, anyplace. Even McDonalds (Not that McLatte shit. The good stuff. Espresso. Short and neat.)
7) I still have yet to try the bidet but am considering it everyday.....
8) I stopped at the Autogrill on the Autostrade (rest area with a mini grocery store/restaurant on the highway) and they were selling beer by the bottle. Now I am not saying I don't like a cold brew every now and then, but to pick one up for the road may be a little much, especially considering my comments from #3...
9) The restaurants in Amalfi had their fish on display in a cooler case at the front of the store. Big freakin' fish with eyes staring right at you. Glad they didn't have the meat specials there too....Creepy....
Well, good night all. I head to the Roman Forum tomorrow as well as the Colosseum. I gotta say that I am pretty stoked about being in the Forum on the Ides of March. I will be extra careful when there and make sure no one tries to knife me through the toga I'm gonna wear...
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
My Roman Holiday Day #3
Well, it has hit me. Jet lag is officially here. Suck. Body tired, mind racing, and generally feeling discombobulated. Yesterday was cold. Real cold. And rainy. Not just any kind of rain, but the pouring down, get under your skin, generally feel like poo rain. We visited the Borghese Museum with a very large collection of Bernini sculptures-pretty amazing stuff considering he did it all in his 20-30's and all in marble. Went to the symphony last night and then came home and had pizza/wine (too much wine) and stayed up until 1230am. Not smart as I was awake 4 hours later with a headache and gastronomic distress-wondering why, oh why I made the decisions I made. Today I went to the Vatican and was overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of it. Great time but exhausting all the same. Some more general observations of my past 2 days...
1) The Vatican is the only place in Rome that I don't feel the glare of the locals gawking at the tourist. I think that is because EVERYONE there is a tourist.
2) Apparently if you talk during the symphony you get the same looks by Italians that Americans give you if you talk during the symphony.
3) During the symphony, there was a male flutist that would have given Ron Burgundy a run for his money (for all those unfamiliar with Mr. Burgundy, he was the character portrayed by Will Ferrell in the movie "Anchorman"). Wondering again why the jazz flute hasn't taken off in the States....
4) Italians do not like eye contact. Don't try it.
5) Tipping is frowned upon in Italy. Apparently this gives waiters in restaurants a free pass to act like assholes....
6) Italians like the bubbly mineral water. Just can't get into it.
7) Apparently they sell extremely warm scarves here in Rome. All the young men wear them with very flimsy, tight fitting jackets. Not sure, but I think it is more fashion based than function based. Me? Give me a big ass parka any day over a jacket only slightly thicker than a rain coat.
Well, thanks for reading. Off to battle the nausea and sleep deprivation/circadian confusion. Can't complain. I am on vacation after all....
1) The Vatican is the only place in Rome that I don't feel the glare of the locals gawking at the tourist. I think that is because EVERYONE there is a tourist.
2) Apparently if you talk during the symphony you get the same looks by Italians that Americans give you if you talk during the symphony.
3) During the symphony, there was a male flutist that would have given Ron Burgundy a run for his money (for all those unfamiliar with Mr. Burgundy, he was the character portrayed by Will Ferrell in the movie "Anchorman"). Wondering again why the jazz flute hasn't taken off in the States....
4) Italians do not like eye contact. Don't try it.
5) Tipping is frowned upon in Italy. Apparently this gives waiters in restaurants a free pass to act like assholes....
6) Italians like the bubbly mineral water. Just can't get into it.
7) Apparently they sell extremely warm scarves here in Rome. All the young men wear them with very flimsy, tight fitting jackets. Not sure, but I think it is more fashion based than function based. Me? Give me a big ass parka any day over a jacket only slightly thicker than a rain coat.
Well, thanks for reading. Off to battle the nausea and sleep deprivation/circadian confusion. Can't complain. I am on vacation after all....
Monday, March 8, 2010
My Roman Holiday Day #1
So I arrived in Rome, ragged and tired and ready to beat the bugaboo called jetlag. I had all intentions of following the textbook on beating the travelers' curse but it didn't end up that way. I first came to our amazing apartment on the Tiber River just down from the Piazza del Popolo. Not only is it the sight of not only the obelisk from the Circus Maximus but to my surprise, the visiting World Cup trophy prior to its trip to South Africa. After a lunch of slumber inducing pasta and brew at an outdoor cafe on the Piazza, i actually got my second wind. Not sure how this happened but I grabbed it with gusto and off I went. If you have looked at my pics on Facebook, then you could see that my wife, MIL (short for Mother in Law- the best substitute for a mother I could ever ask for) and I ventured out into the City of Emperors and saw quite a bit on my first day. Here are a few of my simple observations of my time in Italy so far:
1) No one, I mean NO ONE, drives in any one lane-buses, cars, vespas alike. The rule: you look at the car, they keep going. You step out into traffic without looking, they stop. Simple game of Roman Roulette....
2) One does not tip in Italy. Why that is? No clue.
3) The small toilet next to the big toilet is not a small toilet. Trust me on this one.
4) The big toilet has two settings. One for number 1, and one for number 2. Environmentally friendly yet considerate, I suppose, for those folks who need just a little extra oomph, when you want to really "haul the mail"....
5) No matter what you do, you already have two strikes against you. You are American and you are a tourist. A double whammy for those Italians who need any excuse to be pissed at somebody...
6) I can't walk 16 feet without hitting a church...
7) I can't walk 16 feet without hitting an outdoor cafe...
8) The obsession of Italians with super skinny jeans and these hideous white, flat leather Puma sneakers is one I will never understand. Then again, the Italians probably can't understand why I must wear my obnoxious royal blue UK hat so far from the SEC tournament...(GO CATS!).
9) Everything in Rome is within walking distance. Coincidentally, the only fat people were tourists...
10) I can't help to laugh every time I see a sign for Peroni beer...It reminds me too much of a urological condition of the same name but spelled a bit differently...
Well, it is now 9:48pm here in Rome and I have yet to sleep. I must pay the Sand Man at some point and there is no time like the present. Good night, sleep tight and don't shit in the bidet...
1) No one, I mean NO ONE, drives in any one lane-buses, cars, vespas alike. The rule: you look at the car, they keep going. You step out into traffic without looking, they stop. Simple game of Roman Roulette....
2) One does not tip in Italy. Why that is? No clue.
3) The small toilet next to the big toilet is not a small toilet. Trust me on this one.
4) The big toilet has two settings. One for number 1, and one for number 2. Environmentally friendly yet considerate, I suppose, for those folks who need just a little extra oomph, when you want to really "haul the mail"....
5) No matter what you do, you already have two strikes against you. You are American and you are a tourist. A double whammy for those Italians who need any excuse to be pissed at somebody...
6) I can't walk 16 feet without hitting a church...
7) I can't walk 16 feet without hitting an outdoor cafe...
8) The obsession of Italians with super skinny jeans and these hideous white, flat leather Puma sneakers is one I will never understand. Then again, the Italians probably can't understand why I must wear my obnoxious royal blue UK hat so far from the SEC tournament...(GO CATS!).
9) Everything in Rome is within walking distance. Coincidentally, the only fat people were tourists...
10) I can't help to laugh every time I see a sign for Peroni beer...It reminds me too much of a urological condition of the same name but spelled a bit differently...
Well, it is now 9:48pm here in Rome and I have yet to sleep. I must pay the Sand Man at some point and there is no time like the present. Good night, sleep tight and don't shit in the bidet...
Monday, March 1, 2010
My Fatal Flaw
I am a bit conflicted. I leave for a 10 day trip to Rome in a little less than 1 week. I should be pumped, psyched, juiced- and I am to some extent. But then the angst sets in. The anxious guilt ridden feeling of leaving my children for this long. I know most people that read this will say "Are you kidding me? I would leave my children right now, in their beds, without saying goodbye because they are driving me out of my mind!!!" I have been like that, really I have. I am in need of a vacation in the worst way. I am grumpy at work, the mounds of paperwork are increasingly pissing me off, and I am tired. Just so tired. So we plan the vacation, but the leaving is the hardest part. I am so damned attached to them, I don't even want to leave them for a night. Sick, isn't it? However, I know the best thing for our family is a rejuvenated Daddy and Mommy, because I can feel both Becky and I are getting to the end of our collective ropes. We need those batteries recharged- juice to fight the drudgeries of daily life with 3 children (oops. Sorry Ruby, 3.5 children). However....
There is truth to the classic saying-You can't live with them, you can't live without them. I feel like I am some character from a Greek tragedy, cursed by the gods with a need to get away for his SANITY, but never able to because of his own fatal flaw~his unyielding desire to be with the ones causing his INSANITY....
I am not expecting answers from this blog, but it does give me a place to put down what I seem to have a hard time verbalizing...Time to hit the sack. Maybe my subconscious will fix this faulty brain wiring while I snooze...
There is truth to the classic saying-You can't live with them, you can't live without them. I feel like I am some character from a Greek tragedy, cursed by the gods with a need to get away for his SANITY, but never able to because of his own fatal flaw~his unyielding desire to be with the ones causing his INSANITY....
I am not expecting answers from this blog, but it does give me a place to put down what I seem to have a hard time verbalizing...Time to hit the sack. Maybe my subconscious will fix this faulty brain wiring while I snooze...
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