My Fatal Flaw

I am a bit conflicted. I leave for a 10 day trip to Rome in a little less than 1 week. I should be pumped, psyched, juiced- and I am to some extent. But then the angst sets in. The anxious guilt ridden feeling of leaving my children for this long. I know most people that read this will say "Are you kidding me? I would leave my children right now, in their beds, without saying goodbye because they are driving me out of my mind!!!" I have been like that, really I have. I am in need of a vacation in the worst way. I am grumpy at work, the mounds of paperwork are increasingly pissing me off, and I am tired. Just so tired. So we plan the vacation, but the leaving is the hardest part. I am so damned attached to them, I don't even want to leave them for a night. Sick, isn't it? However, I know the best thing for our family is a rejuvenated Daddy and Mommy, because I can feel both Becky and I are getting to the end of our collective ropes. We need those batteries recharged- juice to fight the drudgeries of daily life with 3 children (oops. Sorry Ruby, 3.5 children). However....

There is truth to the classic saying-You can't live with them, you can't live without them. I feel like I am some character from a Greek tragedy, cursed by the gods with a need to get away for his SANITY, but never able to because of his own fatal flaw~his unyielding desire to be with the ones causing his INSANITY....

I am not expecting answers from this blog, but it does give me a place to put down what I seem to have a hard time verbalizing...Time to hit the sack. Maybe my subconscious will fix this faulty brain wiring while I snooze...