As I write this I am currently 35,000 feet above rural Virginia, and I have had plenty of time to reflect on this amazing vacation. What I have come up with is that Italy and the US are completely different countries. News flash, I know, but I mean it in terms of our culture, our social expectations, our mores. I feel like such an idiot saying that but it’s true. Because the US has vast amounts of different landscape, culture, urban/rural living all with the added benefit of having one language, one common set of laws and one monetary system binding us together, the desire to leave the country and explore is not as great as it may be in Europe. Problem is, however, that when these said Americans decide to travel, everything is compared to the “way it is at home” and the expectations are that everyone speaks “their” language and likes to eat “their” food. Not so oversees and the locals, while happy to take our Euros, hate the general attitude. Problem also comes with the local kids listening to American music (they love it), eating American food (McDonalds is everywhere in Rome) and generally doing all the things to piss off their parents who are tired of the tourists. Odd. Really it is. So much confusion among the masses. Oh well, enough of that. Time for my final observations from Italy….
1) Clothes and clothes styles are very unique. I have seen the future, folks and for woman it involves tights under short shorts with old school Chuck Taylor high tops. Boots are big too-even the "Captain Morgan over the knee" pirate boots. Just wait….As for men, nobody cares what you wear. Truly. A toga would be just fine, as long as you also wore very skinny tight jeans, hideous flat white puma shoes, a large purple puffy jacket with fur around the hood and white Elvis sunglasses. Not the wayfarer 60’s shades but the fat Elvis- dying while on the shitter shades-rhinestones included.
2) Apparently it is more important for woman (of all ages) to be fashionable than to have an ounce of self esteem. Ladies in their sixties with bulges in places I care not to describe should not wear tights, short skirts and generally look like a mistress of the night. I don’t care if it is the latest trend. Act and dress your age. I am begging you…
3) The bidet has still bamboozled me but I could definitely see its utility. Just can’t bring myself to sit and give my undercarriage a good scrubbin’…
4) I love the ruins of Rome and I love the Vatican. It is difficult, however to see all of the gold, silver, pomp and circumstance at St. Peter’s only to be faced by beggers hoping to get a euro or two from spiritual pilgrims (and generally failing) on their way to the Holy City. The contrast is striking. Just a humble observation…
5) My mother in law is convinced that she and I have the exact same nose. A "nose twin" to be exact. At first, I thought this to be crazy, but the more I look, I don’t know…Probably too much time with the mother in law…
6) There is nothing better than landing in the States and knowing that warm smiles, hugs and kisses from the children await. The warm bed and comfy clothes don’t hurt either.
I have had a great time blogging my adventures and observations from Italy and hope it has provided as much levity to you as it has to me. Now, back to the grindstone....
Regarding no. 5 - there is NO such thing as too much time with the mother-in-law. Foolish boy! Foolish nose twin!
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