I hate waking up in the morning....

So I haven't blogged in a while. It seems I have to be struck by the moment...Anyway, today was busy. It started off with my normal misery of crawling out of bed at 6 am. Mind you my wife was already up exercising (she is THAT good) but 6 was plenty early for me to roll out of bed. My dog seems to have an alarm clock in her tummy. 6 am-Daddy wakes up. 6:10 am- FOOD. 6:15 am-back to sleep. For her. Not me. Her alarm clock has no bells or whistles, buzzes or music. then paw Daddy's face. Nice...

I proceed to groom myself then head out the door to the hospital. It is always an interesting visit with my patients. They act as if I am visiting them in the dead of night, bringing with me news they can't understand, words too big to comprehend. I examine them, tell them the plan for the day, leave the room then wait the standard 2 minutes it takes for them to realize that they just dozed through my entire conversation with them. I then have to go back in and go over it all again. What a waste of time. I have considered going into their room, turning on all the lights, pulling back their covers and saying "WAKE UP! Now I will be back in 5 minutes to talk to you. Just wanted to give you some prep time...." That, of course, doesn't happen as that would be considered cruel and unusual punishment....That reminds me of a story from my days as a Nurse's Aide...****Harp music accompanied with dream sequence inserted here****. It was 430 am and the charge nurse said "Hey Captain O (story behind that name for another blog entry), go give Mr. Jones his enema this morning to prep him for his rectal surgery." I get the bag, fill it with water and soap (it was a SSE after all-soap suds enema), get the tubing all set up next to his bed then turn on his lights and say "Mr. Jones- wake up please. It's time for your enema." Mr. Jones responds "what's an enema?" I just smile and say, "Just roll over please..." ****Cue the harp music and dream sequence again****.

I guess what it boils down to is that no one really likes to be awakened from their deep, unencumbered slumber-Not me, with a paw to the face; not the patient with the early morning rounds; and certainly not Mr. Jones by the freckly red headed sadistic Nurse's Aide wielding his sudsy bag of ass cleaner...